do u ever get really paranoid and think that everyone youve ever considered a friend actually secretly hates u or is that just me
(via suckmydicknexttime)
elphabaforpresidentofgallifrey:
A CUTE BOY JUST TOLD ME I LOOKED NICE TODAY, WE ARE GETTING MARRIED
UPDATE: HE DOESN’T LIKE HOCKEY, WE ARE GETTING A DIVORCE
That is the most Canadian reason for a divorce I have ever seen.
omg how I met your mother!! I remember this LMAO
(via suckmydicknexttime)
vaginas are so ugly and penises are so ugly too why cant genitals be cute and pretty
(via suckmydicknexttime)
I hate when people say ‘it’s summertime! Time for country music!!’
Bitch, please. Country music is good all year long.
When you listen to country music, it’s summer all year long
when i was in 8th grade i liked this boy so i pickpocketed him and stole his green day wallet and the next day i brought it back to him and i was like “omg i found this on the ground here u go” and we were friends from then on
so basically the moral of the story is if u ever want someone to notice u commit a criminal act on them and u will be friends maybe try kidnapping their pets or something
(via cassssssassbutt)
“can u not” has been my mental response to almost everything that happens these days
(via esccape-reality)
What’s the difference between being hungry and horny?
where you put the cucumber
(via suckmydicknexttime)
